I was at the same time honored, humbled and terrified when I was asked to participate in the Scatter Evan Project. I didn't think I had it in me to carry out such a task. From the beginning of our friendship Evan recognized my shyness and reluctance to take certain risks. When we were both at college in Amherst, it seemed like he made it a mission to include me in his adventures. He knew my hesitations and took it upon himself to shake me from them.
While most of the other Scatter missions were solo trips, I knew I would end up needing some company. The plan then was for Ursula, Alex and myself to fly to Iceland and scatter Evan in the Arctic among the Narwhals (it wasn't until I visited Evan and Ursula at Sloan Kettering and saw a picture of narwhals on the wall that I knew they were actually real.) I honestly don't really know how to talk about the trip. It was filled with road trips and laughter and hot springs and waterfalls. Bacons and bingo and boats and mountains. We eventually made it to just about the northern tip of Iceland. When we drove as far north as we could, we got on a boat and headed even further north. We were led by a lovely man, Runar and our amazing guide, Gulli. They treated us with nothing but respect. I would have never expected strangers to be so kind and helpful with something so intense and important.
They took us to Kviar, in the Hornstradir Nature Preserve. Again, I'm not really sure how to talk about it other than it was the most beautiful landscape I had ever witnessed. A house sat on the hillside with no view of another building in sight. We spent all day hiking the surrounding hills, learning, drinking fresh glacial water. After leaving one of Evan's Buddhas on a window sill in the house, we found a spot on the shore for the scatter. I poured the ashes of my best friend in my hand and let him go into the water. All that I wanted when we were exploring Iceland was for Evan to be there to tell us about the Vikings that had once traveled those seas. To watch him climb some rocks he probably shouldn't be climbing and somehow manage to come away unharmed. To sing us songs and translate the story of the northern lights at night. I feel very overwhelmed as I write this. With sadness and nostalgia. With anger. But I will be forever grateful that even after he was gone, Evan still made sure I was part of his adventure.
- Marc Seedorf